(Image from Indystar: https://www.indystar.com/story/sports/nfl/colts/2019/08/24/reaction-report-colts-quarterback-andrew-luck-retiring/2111744001/. (no copyright infringement is intended).
I was at a friend's new house chatting over dinner when I received the familiar buzz which signified a message from my brother. He and I exchange messages every so often throughout the day, and I always pay attention when I get a message from him, despite the fact, that we usually talk about sports or the community.
"What the heck! Andrew Luck retired."
I was shocked, and showed the message to the only other friend at dinner who would have understood. He expressed a similar dumbfounded response. The party, overwrought with curiosity, nagged me to show them what we were talking about, but I knew the message itself would require explanation since the rest of the party were not interested in sports.
I preceded as best as I could to explain the shocking nature of the situation. "One of the best professional football players just retired... He cited mental fatigue as a reason, etc. etc."
It was difficult to capture the gravitas surrounding this announcement. Luck just finished taking the Indianapolis Colts deeper into the playoffs than practically anybody expected. This year's Colts have great expectations, being full of good young players having now seasoned their talent with experience, and a hunger to return to the postseason.
The physical picture of the press conference was jarring: he stood alone in a plain Colts t-shirt. He smiled awkwardly, and opened the press conference with a meek, "Hellooo." Luck admitted that he didn't dream of this scenario, and he even almost lost composure at one point. After taking a minute, he rediscovered his nerve, and proceeded to express gratitude.
Here was a young man who has made a pivotal decision about his life, about how he wanted to live. One might say that he was turning his back on the one thing that has arguably defined him for a good majority of his life. His decision even affected a house party all the way in White Rock, Canada.
The awkwardness felt familiar; it appeared to come from a deep sense of isolation; he stood alone, with no one to support him. He was perhaps aware, that no matter how he tried to explain it, few people would lament with him; few people would actually understand. And fewer people would actually empathize with him.
"Mental fatigue? But he's so young.... Injuries? That's part of sports."
Even before the press conference as rumors swirled that he had made this decision, fans booed him as he jogged off the field or the last time.
He said he heard it, and it hurt. And I couldn't help but sympathize with him.
Andrew Luck made a decision that was best for his health, his life and his family. And while it may come off as extremely selfish, I believe him when he said that it was the hardest decision of his life.
He's walking away because the joy is gone. And that's not a millenial thing. It's a confrontation with mortality: can he really give more of his life to a game than he can to his family. Does he really want to spend the end of his career in chronic physical pain, barely able to enjoy any physical activity with his children?
For Andrew Luck, the answer is no. And while it was shocking to hear, and while I will certainly miss seeing him play, I can't help but think that it was the right answer, and it is the right decision.
Perhaps it's a sign of my age that I think I genuinely sympathize with this young man. As fans, we go through a myriad of emotions with our athletic heroes. It's what makes sports to be what it is.
And while I may have never directly supported Andrew Luck or the Colts, while I may have never shared in their joy of even last season, I certainly now share both in Andrew Luck's sorrow, and his greater desire for peace.
